And just like that, time has stopped crawling and seems instead to be moving faster and faster. The sun tells me the days are lengthening, but to me it feels like they are getting shorter. Time flies when you’re nervous (too), I guess. As we’re getting closer to flying back to Greece (on April 22nd) and sailing Nalu home, people wonder what we’re nervous about. The orca’s that may go for our rudder? Storms? Big waves?

I’m very excited and absolutely terrified

Well, okay, terrified is a strong word and it’s not all that bad, but yes – I am more than a little nervous to be honest. Not so much about sailing her home – I trust both the boat and Martijn completely, so while sh!t will happen, I have no doubt we’ll get her home safe and sound. No, what I’m nervous about is the fact that this is the first time ever we’ll sailing our boat instead of mine or his.

Does that matter? Well – yes and no. We’ve both always each had our own boat (Martijn a Victoire 1270 and Martine a Moody 346) and we’ve both been living aboard alone (floating apart together happily) for many years. We’re both in our early 50’s, pretty much set in our ways and used to sailing our own boat – literally and figuratively. And now we find ourselves co-owning our new floating home and we’ll have to figure out not just how to live together happily in such a small space, but also on dealing with two captains on one ship – which can become an issue if we’re not careful.

Our boat, who’s choice?

Since we both need our own space and enough time to ourselves, we have agreed on a few ways to ensure neither of us feels crowded or has to give up (too much of) their own space and private time. While a boat will never come close to offering the same amount of space as a house, a 16 meter/53 foot center cockpit does offer enough options for two old liveaboards who know what to expect when living on a boat full-time.

When we each had our own boat, it was pretty simple when underway: “my boat, my responsibility, my call” was the rule of thumb. While we usually said that the one on shift was the captain on duty, boat ownership would usually settle it if we just couldn’t agree on things. That’s going to be a little more difficult now …

How to settle disagreements?

Will boat ownership still decide? We could still go for that option, as we’re not 50/50% owners. But – that would become very frustrating for me, as I own the smaller percentage. If, in the end, everything always goes Martijns way because he owns the larger share, that would probably become a serious issue after enough lager issues/decisions.

Saying that the one on shift is the captain and decides may work at sea during longer passages, but is absolutely useless when one of you wants to set sail and the other one wants to wait (for a different weather window for example). Or if one person wants to do an expensive upgrade and the other wants to do something different.

How do you decide who decides what?

We’re definitely not the only liveaboard and sailing couple out there … So, how do you work these things out? Who has the final say in which situation, and how do you prevent one of you from feeling frustrated about maybe having to compromise too much, too often? Leave your comment below!

And just to be clear: no, it’s not an issue that we haven’t worked this out yet. And we’re both confident that we can, or we wouldn’t have even started this adventure together.

Article photo: one of the many street cats. I named this sweety Bob, and (s)he came to Nalu four times a day for breakfast, late brunch, dinner and a late night snack. I left him/her the red pillow, which Martijn didn’t really agree with at first (but he’s a softy, when he saw Bob sleeping on it, he stopped objecting). But – who gets to decide if the Kitty Guest gets a pillow or not?
Sidenote: I did check Bob’s ear and it was cut, so (s)he’s been castrated.